Tag Archives: the onion

Local Girlfriend Always Wants To Do Stuff

From an Onion Article:

Though he and Maas have dated for almost two years, Bertram reportedly did not recognize the severity of his girlfriend’s near-chronic dependence on getting out of the house and doing stuff until six months ago, when she insisted the two attend a free outdoor concert in their neighborhood. Since that time, Maas has asked an estimated 11 times to be taken to dinner, 17 times to go grocery shopping, and, on 20 separate occasions, has expressed a desire to go on a meandering walk without a fixed destination, purpose, or time limit.

I emailed it to the fiance with the subject “sounds like me.”

He wrote back:

Does the next paragraph say:

“If not properly babysit, she will sit around in her underwear drinking soda water until 3pm when she has a nap for 1 hour and 45 minutes, wakes up, declares she’s hungry, eats a frozen burrito and then asks ‘what are we doing tonight”?

Yep, that’s me in a nutshell.  He knows me so well.

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