The fiance is a fantastic cook, but when it comes to cooking things unfamiliar to him he’s woefully inept. Once when I was sick I asked him to make some hard boiled eggs. As somebody who hates eggs he was confounded.
“How do I make hard boiled eggs?” he queried.
“Um…put an egg in boiling water for a while.”
After the eggs had boiled away for a while he drained the water. “Now what?” he asked.
“Now you just remove the shell,” I replied. Duh.
“But won’t they run all over the place?”
“No you idiot. You just hard boiled them.”
“Oh, is that what I’ve just done?” Ha! I still give him a hard time about that.
Tonight he ventured into the realm of poultry again, making his first roast chicken. I observed him in the kitchen looking puzzled. He grumbled, “there’s no way all this stuffing is going to fit in there.”
“Oh…that’s the chest cavity. I was trying to stuff the chicken’s butt!” Turns out he was trying to stuff the neck. Which makes me wonder if he was planning on tying the wings together to cover the neck hole. How does one confuse a neck hole with a butt hole? Thankfully his knowledge of the female body is far better than his knowlege of chicken anatomy!