I’ll be the first to admit that even with the wedding 10 months away, I’m already beginning to get a bit carried away by this whole wedding thing.
Until I became engaged I had never given a thought to what my wedding would be like. That did put me at a disadvantage when it came to actually planning the thing, but I had hoped that my lack of interest in all things wedding related would keep me grounded. It did…for about a month.
In the beginning when I was still level-headed (or naive, I’m not sure which), I had a lengthy conversation with my mom about how yes, the wedding was important but there’s not need to get all worked up about the details. The important thing is that we’re making a commitment to spending the rest of our lives together. The wedding is just a day…blah, blah, blah.
Then we started putting together the guest list. My idea of a good wedding would be a small(ish), elegant evening with nice food and (lots and lots of) great alcohol. When we started listing family members who would expect an invitation, we quickly realised that this would not be a small affair. Long story short, we’re pretty much obligated to invite 60 family members. When we started adding friends, the guest list quickly reached 100 and we decided to cap it there, otherwise we’d quickly burn through our budget.
Then I began to succumb to the pressure of trying to satisfy everybody on that list, particularly my parents and our overseas guests. We want to make the wedding (and surrounding events) special enough to make it worth forking out $3,000 for a plane ticket.
I haven’t let the wedding get to the point where I’m obsessing about every single detail but I have spent an inordinate amount of time (at work) scouring wedding websites, starting to care about what the centrepieces will look like, and considering spending way too much money on a photographer.
While reading one of my favourite blogs, I got a nice reality check. The post was about a Newsweek article about how brides go to extremes to look good on their wedding day. I’ve vowed that I will not schedule tanning sessions, teeth whitening, facials, nail appointments, and all that superficial beauty crap that brides go through to look good for one day. However, I will admit to a renewed devotion to eating healthy (a goal my fiance and I are working on together) and exercising regularly. Also, as a wedding gift our best man (a personal trainer) will train us in the months leading up to the wedding. Score!
Back to the article: the writer and commenters on that Jezebel post really put things into perspective.
What is the point of forcing one day to be “perfect” and unnaturally polished? What does the perfect wedding really look like? Shouldn’t it just [be] a day on which everyone is just damn happy to be there?
The only thing you should worry about…is if you’re marrying the right person. If that’s sorted, all you really have to do is show up and smile.
There is no doubt in my mind that I’m marrying the right person. If the wedding isn’t perfect I don’t care. I’m going to show up in my $100 dress and enjoy the ride.
At the end of the day we’ll have had a fun party with our family and friends, and most importantly I’ll be married to my one true love. And isn’t true love what really matters?