slosydney

No babies me for a while yet.  I’ve always gotten conflicting messages from my mom though:

Message 1:   Don’t have babies until you’re at least 30.

Message 2:   I want grandbabies!  Now!

Sorry mom, but I’m not going to have babies before I’m ready just to fulfil her need to be a grandmother.  Especially since she’s on the other side of the world.   As I’ve said before, she’ll have to make do with having grandpuppies.

I might just be the least clucky person my age, but it’s hard not to be clucky when so many people around me are or either pregnant or a mom. 

Last summer we went to four weddings.  Four!  Those weddings have resulted in one pregnancy and one baby (my nephew).

We’ve also had two couples over to an evening of wine and seafood only to discover that they were both expecting.  Awkward!

Then just last week our friends welcomed a beautiful daughter into the world.  Also, my gorgeous friend Ellen is mom to the most beautiful baby girl who I’ve not yet had the pleasure to meet.  And another long-time friend just 20 days older than me has three wonderful boys.

All of this makes me think that being a mom might be pretty awesome.  But I’m just not ready…yet.

I love love love love love love LOVE shoes!  Few things make me happier than a pair of peep toe heels.  Except maybe cuddles, cupcakes and puppies.

Many stores are having their end of financial year sales so now is a great time to pick up a bargain.  Last night I had a function in the city and decided to stop in at David Jones for a bit of wedding shoe shopping beforehand.  Shoes galore!!  It would have been so much more fun if they weren’t all so damn expensive.  Amongst the Jimmy Choos, Marc Jacobs, and Laboutains were some quirky, sparkly and significantly less pricey shoes by Anne Klein.  It was love at first sight!  It matched all the requirements I had for wedding shoes:

Peep toes, heels, blue or silver, sparkly and with something unique.

I saw a pair at Gary Castles the weekend before but the $899 price tag was waaaaaay over my shoe budget.

So, here is what I got:

The colour/texture is called ‘caviar’ because they kind of look like they’ve been smeared with caviar.  These are totally untraditional and kind of weird but so perfect for me. 

My mom hates them and my dad thinks they’re tacky.  But I adore them.  Nobody’s really going to see them anyway so as long as they are comfortable and make me happy then it’s all good.

And because I’m the queen of wedding bargains, I found the same shoes from Amazon.com in the US for half the price.  So the ones I bought from David Jones are going back after I get my dress hemmed and I’ll have another pair sent to my parents’ house for them to bring when they come for the wedding.  Yay shoes!

There are many milestones that can signal becoming and adult.  Some consider turning 18 and being able to vote their transition into adulthood.  Other things like moving out of home, graduating from college, earning your first paycheck, buying a car, paying bills, living alone, buying your first home, getting married, or having your first child marks adulthood for some.  I’ve done all those things (minus the last two) but I’ve always still felt like a kid.

Last week I realised that I’m officially and adult.  No, the realisation didn’t come as a result of my 27th birthday (although at 27 I should feel like an adult).

I’ve been working on a project out in the factory for the past couple of weeks.  The factory is not the cleanest place around so I’ve been wearing “grubby” clothes.  These “grubby” clothes are the same clothes I wore throughout college, in the evenings and on weekends.  After five days of this routine I ran out of clothes.  When did I run out of ‘normal’ clothes, the clothes that I’ve been wearing my whole life?  I used to LIVE in jeans, t-shirts, flip-flops, running shoes, gym shorts, tank tops, yoga pants, and hoodies.  Anything with buttons was for special occasions.

Now my closet consists of sensible work pants, knee-length skirts, button-up blouses and comfortable heels.  Pretty, but not fun.  Adulthood, like my wardrobe, is sensible but kind of boring.

Since we will be entering the reception to ‘The Love Cats’ by The Cure, I thought that this picture was fitting:

That’s us every morning, but in cat form. 

Hey Asshole,

Thanks a lot for breaking my window.  What a great way to start the week!

The least you could have done is actually take something.  You’d be doing me a favour seeing as I need to clean out the car.  What, the scraggly old sweater in the back wasn’t good enough for you?  How about the broken fan in the boot?  No?  The two year old bottle of Advil with said Advil melted in a big brown lump not potent enough?  Jeez thieves are picky these days.

So now I’m out $450.  Not that I needed it for my mortgage or anything.  Plus the seat is soaked because it rained all night, so that’s an added bonus.

Word to the wise, thief: breaking into the crappiest car on the street won’t get you enough money to buy those drugs you so desperately need.  Why not go for the Mercedes parked behind me?  Or how about the BMW parked in front of me?  If I can’t afford a nice car, I probably can’t afford nice things to leave in it.  So you should have at least taken the Advil because those are the only drugs you’ll score as a result of breaking into my car.

(Un)sincerely,

-slosydney

Update: They did take something! The spare deodorant I keep in the glovebox.  So somewhere in Sydney is a thief that is presumably less stinky than they were the day before.

Although my mom kind of drives me insane, we did have a lot of fun together.  On her last night here, while Dad and the fiance plowed bottle of wine numero quatro, my mom and I played dress up.  I put on my wedding dress while she oohed and aahed over it.  We’ve already decided that I’m going to wear earrings that belonged to my great grandmother on my dad’s side; simple little pearl earrings that were worn by her on her wedding day, then by my grandmother, then by my aunt and soon, me.

As my dress is very simple, we thought we’d add a little decoration to dress it up a bit.  I was thinking beading on the straps, or an deco pin on the bodice.  Mom brought over a pin that belonged to my great grandmother on my mom’s side.  We put it in the centre of the bodice and she started crying.  It was so perfect!  It’s all the dress needs, and so nice that I’ll be wearing something from both sides of the family.

In other news, my dad discovered my great grandmother and great grandfather’s marriage certificate.  They were married on December 20th; the same day we are planning on getting married.  This wedding is turning out to inlcude a lot of special family tributes.

As much as my family drives me nuts, they’re the reason I’m in this world.  There’s a lot to thank them for, and I can only hope that I make my ancestors proud.

Somebody sent me this quote the day after I wrote my previous post.  I think it applies to this situation perfectly.

“People take different roads seeking fulfillment and happiness.  Just because they’re not on your road doesn’t mean they’ve gotten lost.”

- H. Jackson Brown

No matter what doubts my parents my have about my future husband, our love and commitment to each other overrides the need to convince them that we have a bright future together.  Turns out that my grandparents weren’t too thrilled about my parents’ choice of partner all those years ago.  They’ve been married nearly 30 years now so that goes to show that parental approval is not required for a happy marriage.

And seriously, how can I not be in love with a person who sends me text messages like this?

Hi Baby.  You’re the reason I smile.

::Heart melting::

Wow.  I don’t think I’ve ever felt this bad.  Have you ever felt so upset that you feel like vomiting?  That’s me right now.

I should be happy.  My parents are visiting from the US this month, we’re having an engagement party in two days, I have a loving fiance and the greatest dogs in the world.  Sometimes I can’t believe just how lucky I am.

So why am I crying so much that I can barely see what I’m typing?  Well, my parents decided to tell me today that they don’t like my future husband.  Then proceeded to list everything they think is wrong with him.  They think he’s immature because he plays video games and likes sports, irresponsible because he doesn’t own property or have a stock portfolio, irreverent because he doesn’t kiss their asses 24/7, and unrefined because he doesn’t act like a rich 50 year old.  From what they told me, they don’t seem to think he has any redeeming qualities. 

They don’t like his family even though his family has been so generous and friendly.  His family welcomed me from the start with open arms and over the years I have become closer to them than my own family.  My parents look down their noses at them and treat them like crap.

Who would they want me to marry?  Probably an ambitious lawyer with a masters degree or two.  His wardrobe would be made up of Ralph Lauren polos, khakis, and boat shoes.  He would earn enough money at his boring job, but wouldn’t work too hard because of course he would have to have enough time to spend with me.  He wouldn’t play sports or video games, but would instead spend his free time sailing.  He would be my servant/secure financial future.  Sorry, but that is not my idea of the perfect man.  I don’t want to marry a robot/ATM machine.

Nothing is ever good enough for my parents.  As the oldest I’m not allowed to fail.  Everything I do has to be perfect and for the most part it is.  I got great grades in high school and college, found a good job doing pretty much exactly what my dad did, I stay thin (which I think my mom thinks is the most important thing in life), own property, am working on a masters degree and I’m a generally pleasant person.  By my parents’ definition I am successful and I’ve worked my ass off to meet their strict standards.  Does it matter that I find my job boring, lack motivation and have no idea what I want to do with my future career?  No because I’m making good money and that’s is apparently all that matters. 

Since I moved to Australia I’ve been free.  Free to make my own decisions.  Free to do what makes me happy.  I’ve found happiness in being able to make my own decisions without being judged but that sure doesn’t make my parents happy. 

All parents want the best for their kids.  But sometimes they don’t realize that what they want for their kids isn’t necessarily what their kids want for themselves.  I’m happy and my fiance has a lot to do with that.  We’re a great team and I love him with all my heart.  Is it too much to ask for my family to accept that?

I donated some money to the monks in Burma to assist in getting aid to those affected by the cyclone.  Can you help too?

The cyclone that ripped through Burma left tens of thousands dead and a million homeless–a natural disaster made much worse by the failure of the military junta to warn or evacuate its people.

Now, the government has slowed the urgent process of providing humanitarian relief–so Avaaz is raising funds for the International Burmese Monks Organization and related groups, which will transmit funds directly to monasteries in affected areas.

In many of the worst-hit areas, the monasteries are the only source of shelter and food for Burma’s poorest people. They have been on the front lines of the aid effort since the storm struck. Other forms of aid could be delayed, diverted or manipulated by the Burmese government–but the monks are the most trusted and reliable institution in the country.

As I’m sure you’re aware, aid has been blocked by the Burmese military government.  Aid is only just beginning to trickle in.  Please help.

We were having a really difficult time deciding on the song for the first dance at the wedding.  I was thinking something jazzy like Harry Connick Jr.  He was undoubtedly thinking of something awful.

Most of the artists on his iPod playlist are dead: Jonny Cash, part of The Clash, half of the Beatles, one quarter of Led Zeppelin, and the lead singer of Nirvana, .  The rest are about three times his age: James Taylor, Bob Dylan, Bruce Springsteen, Crosby Stills and Nash (and Young who is not young), and Steely Dan.  He has the musical taste of a sixty year old.

The only artists he likes that are not in the grave or halfway there are the Dropkick Murphys and Ben Folds.  As much as I enjoy the combination of bagpipes and punk, I’m not keen on the idea of dancing to it at my wedding.  Ok, maybe later in the evening but certainly not for the first dance.

My playlist contains an absurd number of Bon Jovi songs and a bizarre hodgepodge of songs ranging from indie rock to classical to techno. 

We’ve already decided that we’ll be entering our reception to “The Love Cats” by the Cure.  Lame?  Kind of.  Cheesy?  Totally.  Perfect for us?  Absolutely!

I’m stoked with having the Cure for our entry music but for the first dance I want something a little more romantic.  I had been searching for the perfect song for weeks and my efforts had not been fruitful. 

That is, until the fantastic Australian Wedding blog Polka Dot Bride posted a mixed tape of lovely songs for the first dance.  When I came to the 5th song I started crying.  Happy tears, of course.  I am ever so grateful to her for leading us to our wedding song. 

This really is the perfect song for us.  Check out the lyrics.  It conveys what we both want to say on our wedding day.  We both feel that we are so lucky to have found each other.  This song never fails to bring a tear to my eyes.  I am going to be a blubbering mess during our wedding dance. 

And where was I before the day
That I first saw your lovely face?
Now I see it everyday
And I know
That I am
I am
I am
The luckiest

I love you more than I have ever found a way to say to you